Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married
Leave a comment with your best relationship advice
I get married exactly one month from today.
*screams internally*
I am someone who is almost always feeling alllll the feelings, so naturally this is no different. I’m excited, nervous, intimidated, hopeful, enamored, overwhelmed, scared, and most of all, incredibly happy to marry my favorite person with all of the people I love around me. I traveled to Kansas City the first weekend of August for my bachelorette party, and gathering with so many women I love so deeply was a wonderful preparation for my wedding celebration.
I’ve come to find out that planning a wedding, while also trying to remain a sane and healthy person, doesn’t leave a lot of opportunity for me to pursue the ideas and stories I want to write about for this Substack. I refuse to half-ass anything, and I have too much imposter syndrome to start writing about something without really diving in. If I took that route, I’d be anxiously refreshing the comments and waiting for someone to pick me apart.
So for these next few weeks, I’m going to turn my attention to you, my dear reader. I want the Midwest Creative to be a space where we can build community and learn from one another and create the most meaningful art we can. In order to do that, we need to build trust and familiarity.
I’ll be posing a few questions over the next few weeks. I hope you take a moment to leave your thoughts, engage with someone else in the comments, and consider the different ways we’re all experiencing the world. Let’s learn about each other.
As I’m about to embark on this new journey of marriage, I want to hear from you your best marriage and relationship advice. How do you maintain a healthy marriage? How do you work through conflict? What have you learned about communication with your spouse? If your marriage ended, what would you have done differently? What’s the worst piece of relationship advice you’ve ever heard? What’s one thing you wish you had done differently on your wedding day?
Tell me what’s important to you. Tell me the nitty gritty. Tell me the sad and the hopeful. Help me ring in this next chapter of my life.
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This is the advice my grandfather gave to my dad before my parents were married: if you disagree, don't shoot for meeting each other halfway. Shoot for going 60% of the way toward the other person's position, and if you both do that, it's more likely you will agree on some compromise. If you each try to go halfway you may fall short of that.
My best advice to brides-to-be is don't sweat the small stuff when it comes to the zillion wedding details! Beginning the marriage is important but you don't need to have a perfect wedding day to have a good marriage. Chances are no one will notice if there is some minor glitch with the flowers or music or table settings or whatever, but everyone will notice if the bride freaks out over something trivial.
I lost my husband 3 years ago after 20 glorious years of marriage. My advice is to say thank you ... a lot! Appreciate each other's help with the workload of life. Hearing the words "thank you" keeps resentment from brewing during those times one of you only gives 40%.
And laugh!!! A lot!!! Rejoice in silliness and don't take yourselves to seriously.
Finally ... make couple friendships a priority. Have a couple that you go out for pizza with. Join a co-ed volleyball team. Your marriage will be more interesting and fun for it.